What Drives Romance at Various Ages?


When other factors are in place, the heart-shaped box of goodies is guaranteed to get my attention. Priorities shift with age, however, as you’ll see in this post.  “Am I shallow…or just realistic?” (That’s rhetorical–Please don’t answer.)


I was at a pre-Valentine dinner over the weekend and another senior couple was talking about how they met.  It seems the woman’s paramour flashed his portfolio summary at her, attesting to his financial soundness.  It got me to thinking.

I recall, as teacher, the junior high school boys I taught, trying to impress the girls in class with their pre-pubescent antics.  They’d burp and release other bodily gasses to make a statement (all the more prevalent if they came to my class right after lunch.)

That’s right, they’d try to out-fart and out-belch each other, while I shook my head in disbelief. You see, they apparently viewed these barbaric behaviors as attractive, believing they suggested ‘potency.’

Then, too, they’d fight.  Each afternoon, at dismissal, the boys all headed to a bank along the perimeter of the school grounds where the fight was to take place. All the kids knew about it—the rumor had circulated throughout the school day:  “Brandon and Mike are going to rip each other apart, at dismissal.”

The crowd (all ‘in’ on the contest) gathered about, cheering on their favorites. The contest erupted, usually, over the favor of some girl.

Fast-forward to later years when courtship took on more mature ways to evaluate a mate. Yep…in the young adult years, the sexes resort to a much deeper method of ascertaining whether a person is Life-Partner material.

While in this period, both men and women place higher value on:  “Does he have good hair?” “Is she stacked?” (Do they still use this term?) “Are they good sexual partners?” They’re more concerned with each other’s physical attributes, and that preoccupation takes center stage (analysts say we subconsciously choose mates based on our idea that strength–in any realm–suggests procreation power.)

Yes, they deem finances important, but that pales in comparison to the physical.

Finally, go on to the later stages of life.

That’s when the full-flowering of the change in “How to Attract a Mate” is clear. In the later years, one partner might ask a potential mate: “Do you have a pension?”  “Do you get Social Security?” “How about those IRA’s—got any?”

Then, too, they want to know about medical benefits. If one gets the infamously-wonderful Tri-Care medical benefits   afforded to military personnel (and their spouses), he/she is even a hotter candidate on the Love List.

The partner who shops around his financial-worthiness is no slouch, for he knows:  In the later years, THIS might be what really matters.  It’s ceased being transitory and shallow indicators such as looks or perseverance/endurance (anywhere).

In the end, it just could be the portfolio that sings….and snags the object of his desire.

And that’s why our friend showed his to her, early on in their relationship.  He’d become an apt student in the ways of this world, and he’d learned valuable lessons on his life journey (George, my true inspiration for this post… I’m singing your praises here.)

So, if you don’t have a honey on this Valentine Day, don’t despair…The above is a blueprint to attract one…Just make sure your intended has some of the other, more deeply-defining attributes of a good person, too, or you’ll rue the day you let him/her in on your financial soundness.

‘Happy hunting’ to you who haven’t a partner.  And to those of you who prefer to live alone  (you’re now 1 in 7 Americans who live that way, intentionally,) author Eric Klinenburg’s  has written a book about you.  Check it out at “Going Solo” –at this link.

And ”Happy Valentine’s Day” to you all.

About admin

A lifetime teacher and realtor who's now a published writer, Colleen Kelly Mellor is a humorist first, ever aware of the thread that connects us all. Her works have appeared in the WSJ, Providence Journal, and CNN and NY Times-acclaimed medical blog, kevinMD.com, to name a few. All material on this blog is exclusive property of the author and cannot be reproduced without this author's express written consent.
This entry was posted in Inspirational, Just-Plain-Fun, relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.