Want to Change Your Body Image Fast?

spanx-spnx01-1038-gv

Question #1:  Can you squeeze a size 12 into a size 8, in a flash?  I guess so if you resort to industrial-strength undergarments?  Question #2:  Why would you ever want to? (On related note, but for the opposite effect, pic to right is what I call the Panty Plumper…It’s made by Spanx, too.) My guess?  These products are for people who suffer body dysmorphic disorder.

In our Faux Society, where everything is truly NOT as it appears, we all need be careful. OK, spoiler alert:  Women are on the covers of major magazines, but usually for all the wrong reasons. I cannot tell you how many of these tabloids shout out the American obsession with diets, tho’ we seem ever more prone to tip the scales, weighing in at a too-heavy amount,

I just wish the latest Billionaire Mama weren’t Spanx Lady, Sarah Blakely.  I mean, she made all that money because she invented a girdle, a squeeze-a-cizor for the abdomen that promises women everywhere they’ll fit back into that little dress, two sizes too small, with the help of this gadget that acts like a shoe-horn, designed to get the bulges to dissipate over a wide (OK, ‘wide’ is offensive) expanse.

Yes, she’s savvy…Hell, she even looks good on the magazine cover.  Doesn’t even look like she needs the very product she invented, for she appears svelte and confident (and who can effect that attitude squeezed into a nylon tube strangling one’s mid-section, cutting off her air supply?)

Don’t think that happens?  Well, Brit. singer Adele  fainted recently while attempting to sing, due to Spanx compression.  Then again, she donned 4 and layered them. Methinks the Brit. warbler has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Worn as it’s meant to be, Spanx is allegedly a miracle product.

And it’s not enough Sara did this for countless women everywhere who want to go that wedding, their Class Reunion, the long-distance family gathering, slightly resembling the person they were in their younger years .

Her product is everywhere, and it’s not just for women. Now, men can stuff their adipose tissue of extra fat…those superfluous pounds into a tight, wizard-of-a-garment that makes them appear youthful, too (Think “Opposite of Botox.”)

Here’s the problem:  In promising more (or less) than one can deliver, what happens when the lights go down and your significant other discovers the “Real You?”  It’s like those padded bras of our Baby Boomer years…I never wanted to go that route for fear I’d note too much disappointment, in the eyes of my beholder.

So, let me ask:  How do you feel about these product? 

Check out the below pic that shows padded butt girdle.  That’s right–two round, padded orbs–extra curves for those lacking in the derriere or bum…If you don’t want to order any of these products from the website, you can try them on, first, at stores like Kohl’s.

Now, I can’t think butt-plumpers are a big market, but what do I know? I’m not Sarah Blakely of Spanx fame…I only wish I were.

butt pad garmentWhat’s your take on the minimizer/maximizer? Is a minimizer more acceptable than a maximizer and why?

And, finally–Does all this merely signal our society’s too-obvious-obsession with body image, to the detriment of all else? Your thoughts?

About admin

A lifetime teacher and realtor who's now a published writer, Colleen Kelly Mellor is a humorist first, ever aware of the thread that connects us all. Her works have appeared in the WSJ, Providence Journal, and CNN and NY Times-acclaimed medical blog, kevinMD.com, to name a few. All material on this blog is exclusive property of the author and cannot be reproduced without this author's express written consent.
This entry was posted in Just-Plain-Fun, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.