I told you about the wonder of my younger daughter’s wedding. No surprise: She’s a detail-oriented person and every bit of planning allowed her to showcase her talents. What I never told you was one absolutely hilarious out-take of the glorious occasion.
You see….groom Eric O’Connell has a delightful sister, one Debbie O’Connell, who lives in Myrtle Beach, and she came to the wedding, even spoke at it, twice… once at the exchange of the vows and a second time, at the toast to the newly-wed couple.
She promised older brother Matt she’d be his back-up at that second toast because, according to her, the family is supposedly ‘short on words’…
Well, ‘short on words’ doesn’t mean their words don’t pack a punch.
Anyway, the darling girl got up and did her part.
She proceeded to define “marriage,” but she kept having trouble with the faulty microphone that cut out at the worst times. Suddenly, we all heard her say: “Marriage is not just about f……ing.” Because of the cut-out (she tried to say “finding” and “luck,” but the combined word came across like the other F word (the crass one.)
Here’s what happened next: A giant pause by guests as they wondered if they really heard the worst word possible emanate from that lovely young woman’s mouth. Such a possibility seemed incomprehensible, yet there it was!
Finally, somebody clued the poor girl in as to what we all thought we heard….
What next followed were protests on her part…”I didn’t say that…” “I’d never…”
At that point, my son-in-law, sitting next to me, hung his head down and doubled over, exploding in laughter he could no longer contain.
Then, the entire room erupted, as the ripple effect took hold.
Poor Debbie….We all really know she merely attempted to give a sweet toast, but due to faulty equipment and a savage crowd ready to pounce on any opportunity, she brought down the house.
That’s right—The Debbie O’Connell Dinner Toast will be remembered—always– for what a young woman never said (but we all laughed howling-ly at the mechanical forced error). It’ll be forever considered her greatest contribution to the festivities.
No matter…She handled the situation like a pro.
The whole thing reminded me of my talk, a few years back, on Pink Night at Magnolia Beauty Salon, in Cranston, RI, where I got up in front of a large crowd of women, telling them of my special connection with my hair-stylist of many years, Donna (a woman who works at Magnolia.)
It was a beautiful night organized to remind customers of the our combined fight against cancer and to get contributions for breast cancer research. Being a survivor, I was doing my best to whip up the crowd so they’d give to this worthy endeavor.
In my telling of my long-standing relationship with my hair stylist, I offered “No one gives a better blow-job than Donna” (Read the entire account here.)
At first, mouths hung open…Then a lone male hair stylist in the back of the room burst out laughing…and then the whole place dissolved into hysteria. You see, they all knew I was really talking about “hair,” but in the process, I’d inadvertently delivered the best laugh of the night….
So, Debbie O’Connell “Thank you” for just one more wonderful memory of a truly great wedding…all the better for the fact you never planned it.
Then again, I wonder: “Did you? (“plan it,” that is).
Here’s Debbie O’Connell’s Facebook picture. Her hot pink wig suggests she most definitely has a madcap adventurist spirit that could’ve enabled her to pull off such hijinx.…
I’ll have to see if she accidentally ‘misspeaks’ at other occasions.
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Or sign-up, top right hand, above to “subscribe”…
That way you won’t miss a single post. Who knows? Maybe you’re the star of a future one (Debbie didn’t know she was the star of this one…).
Yep, that’s Deb in the red wig and below her are twin nephews of the bride, playing at being a totem pole. Do you see two of them? One of them flaunts the mask, again in celebration of Day of the Dead…(If you have no idea what that means, go to top right hand of this blog’s “Recent Posts”…then click on “The O’Connell Mellor Wedding” immediately preceding this one)…Biddy Bytes is still in celebration mode for the wedding of her younger daughter, Amanda Mellor.