Miss America and Company

“There she goes…Miss America…..” (Imagine that familiar refrain playing in the background), 17-year-old Teresa Scanlan from Nebraska beat out 52 other contestants for the title. Supposedly, every young girl wants to be Miss America (not me–I wanted to be a cowboy). The process demands rigorous competition at local levels, then statewide, and finally national levels.

It says so right in our Declaration of Independence: “All men (and women) are created equal… they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights. Among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Interesting enough, it doesn’t say: “They’ll enjoy an equal parsing out of attributes, those features of looks, stature, temperament, personality, and IQ known to gain one preeminent position in society.”

It doesn’t warn, either, that some will automatically ascend to premier positions because they are born to wealth or that they’ll inherit lofty status due to the talents of those who preceded them.

In fact, all of those qualifiers are left out, meaning: We’re all left to figure it out as we go forward….And we do.

Pardon me, but has anyone else thought it mildly annoying that the women who compete for the Miss America, Miss World, Miss USA contests appear have every category wrapped up?

For instance, a hypothetical Miss Alabama, Mary Sue Longford, “is a Phi Beta Kappa from UNC, who’s just completed her doctorate in nuclear physics.” But she’s no “One trick pony” either, for she’s got another doctorate in bio-fushion, with a minor in world health (ostensibly to round out her interests). This lovely creature jogs 5 miles a day, volunteer-reads weekly to children at a local elementary school, and serves at a soup kitchen on Saturdays.

My automatic question in that litany of virtue is: “When does she sleep?”

At the same time, our 23-year-old beauty stands at 5′ 10″ and sports lustrous hair, clear skin, perfect features, long taut legs, and can regale all with a perfect recitation of the chemical elements table–backwards.

While that’s more than enough to send most of us wondering who’s manning “the Fairness Meter” in Creation when humans attributes are divvied out, the talent component of competition begins, further distancing her from the rest of the female population. Here, Miss Alabama sits at a baby grand piano and begins her rhapsody, fingering the keys in heightened crescendo. After some moments of deft digital display, she opens her mouth to release a voice second only to the operatic genius of a Maria Callas, for hers is a a perfect combination of pitch, tone, and timber.

The rest of us marvel: “Wow! Why didn’t I get any of that?”

Yes, it would appear that some within the human family are blessed with great advantage. Just look to the Mannings (Eli and Peyton) in professional football. Are we to believe that their father is so great a coach that he turned “average” sons into super-stars? Or is it that his sons are each simply blessed with remarkable athletic prowess, second to none, to begin with?

Patriot quarterback, Tom Brady (yes, Biddy’s a serious fan) has GQ looks and athletic star-power and I’ll predict his sons (he has two by different women) will capitalize on their stellar gene pool at some point. After all, easy-on-the-eyes Tom is married to none other than the gorgeous and leggy Gisele Bundschen, who is herself a world-class model (she’s the one, too, who insisted she be paid in other than US currency when the American dollar tanked, meaning she’s no slouch in the brains department, either.)

The Brady boys won’t be alone, for we’ve seen any number of stars’ offspring ride the coattails of a parent. The following capitalized on their looks, acting talent, and the requisite connections: Goldie Hawn’s daughter, Kate Hudson, Blythe Danner’s daughter, Gwyneth Paltrow, Michael Douglas followed Dad Kirk, Charlie Sheen stumbles in the path first left by his Dad, Martin. Even Will Smith’s young kids have hit the stage. They all figure in that anointed batch.

Even if we get annoyed at the Kardashians for capitalizing on “What?” (we all haven’t figured that out yet–but no problem: They have!), we still need recognize the girls came on the scene through a connective current they tapped. Their Dad, Robert Kardashian, was famed attorney and close friend to OJ, one of Simpson’s famed “Dream Team,” who sat beside him during the trial. In recent years, however, Kardashian died of esophogeal cancer, disenchanted with his former friend and client. In the meantime, Mom Kris married Olympic star Bruce Jenner, further insuring her girls were exposed to Hollywood royalty, and they’ve capitalized on this.

You know who Biddy thinks are REALLY impressive? The ones who come from “average” who then turn their lives into “remarkable.” Now, in Biddy’s impression, THAT’S real star power. But weigh in, please, on what you think of the “family” of mega-stars today. Wish you were one? Or are you content where you are?

(But click on the following link to see “Spawns of Celebrities” where the gene pool is pretty obvious and weigh in with your thoughts on “the Human Condition.” Which of all the attributes are most important–in your estimation?)


About admin

A lifetime teacher and realtor who's now a published writer, Colleen Kelly Mellor is a humorist first, ever aware of the thread that connects us all. Her works have appeared in the WSJ, Providence Journal, and CNN and NY Times-acclaimed medical blog, kevinMD.com, to name a few. All material on this blog is exclusive property of the author and cannot be reproduced without this author's express written consent.
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