(He looks menacing, and he was…but he also never forgot family loyalty.)
See the title? Yeah, that’s my preference but probably not for the reason you think.
I watched “the Sopranos” and I gotta say: Along with much of the population, I was hooked on Tony Soprano, that seriously-troubled man who sought psychiatric treatment out of necessity, due to physical symptoms that affected him as “Don.”
You see, as Mob Boss, one can’t have those dizzy spells he suffered.
But for all of his shortcomings, he still recognized family loyalties. All Italians do.
That’s why, even if he loathed his Mom, he merely stuffed it all in… along with the weekly 10 lbs. of pasta. And he’d have taken another out, if he even hinted at disrespecting that woman.
For, Italians show respect to their families: They don’t pull away..or punish with the silent treatment.
No, that’s the Irish Way.
Italians scream it out…throw things…vent. Others know how they really feel.
The Irish don’t do that. They keep the negativity all bottled in and then they drink the bottle (Here I go with the stereotypes which become stereotypes because there’s a lot of truth in them.)
Remember: I can knock the Irish because I’m Irish…Don’t try it, if you’re not.
The Irish don’t discuss differences. They go away and sulk….for years.
They firmly believe that the way they see any given difficult situation is the ONLY way to see it. To them, their perception is the one true take on it. They brook no other possibilities.
And they never forgive…To them, ”forgive” is a four letter word.
In the process, they’re perfectly willing to take an entire next generation with them, who all wonder: “What happened?” “Why the impasse?” “Why don’t we see Aunt Betty anymore?…We used to.”
Their get-togethers are often forced occasions of socializing, signaling major life events–weddings of that next generation, the infamous Irish wakes and funerals, etc.
In effect, they unleash a flamethrower on the entire family horizon, scorching the earth. They never just “Get over it,” and move on.
No one knows…no one can even remember events that precipitated, but they’re singularly united in one purpose: to perpetuate the damage, the spill-out, the aftershocks of whatever event or series of same that brought on the problem.
I know—I’m Irish, and I know, too: It’s a sad formula for familial dysfunction, in future.
Got your own story of unforgiveness? Use fictional names (including one for yourself,) if you wish to share. You only need give your e-mail address, and I’ll never post it or share…
All I can say, as a full blooded Italian, is don’t believe everything you see on TV.
Maybe a generation or two ago people were more stereotypical, but things certainly started to change after the war. We baby- boomers had our own agendas and broke away from the traditions and old fashioned stereotypes of our heritage. We saw them, we knew about them, but we had our own ideas, and we definitely dealt with people based on their own merits…family or not. You must earn respect…you don’t automatically get it because you are ‘family’. This is why there have been estrangements that last years amongst certain family members…and I don’t expect reconciliations any time soon!
Actually…in MY next life, I want to be a cat!
A cat…huh? Well, that explains it….the overwhelming LOVE of cats today, by huge numbers of the population. Did you hear, a cat will be the new iconic board piece for the Monopoly game (hope I got that right). Cats are loved and waaayyy safer than family members.
Wow! If this one isn’t “right on.” We’ve had this situation in our family for years, and yes, you’re right–No one remembers why. Just a stalemate. And it does affect all future family members who are expected somehow to take sides or socialize in divided manner. It creates difficulty but the ones who perpetuate never seem to be bothered by this. It’s caused me to rethink how I see them. If they prolong the war (by insisting on driving that wedge down the middle,) I think less of them. They don’t have to like or love the perceived problem-causer, but as you said, they should just “get over it.” for the sake of others.