In My Next Life I Want to Be Italian


tony_soprano(He looks menacing, and he was…but he also never forgot family loyalty.)

See the title?  Yeah, that’s my preference but probably not for the reason you think.

I watched “the Sopranos” and I gotta say:  Along with much of the population, I was hooked on Tony Soprano, that seriously-troubled man who sought psychiatric treatment out of necessity, due to physical symptoms that affected him as “Don.”

You see, as Mob Boss, one can’t have those dizzy spells he suffered.

But for all of his shortcomings, he still recognized family loyalties.  All Italians do.

That’s why, even if he loathed his Mom, he merely stuffed it all in… along with the weekly 10 lbs. of pasta.  And he’d have taken another out, if he even hinted at disrespecting that woman.

For, Italians show respect to their families:  They don’t pull away..or punish with the silent treatment. 

No, that’s the Irish Way.

Italians scream it out…throw things…vent. Others know how they really feel.

The Irish don’t do that.  They keep the negativity all bottled in and then they drink the bottle (Here I go with the stereotypes which become stereotypes because there’s a lot of truth in them.) 

Remember:   I can knock the Irish because I’m Irish…Don’t try it, if you’re not.

The Irish don’t discuss differences.  They go away and sulk….for years.

They firmly believe that the way they see any given difficult situation is the ONLY way to see it.  To them, their perception is the one true take on it. They brook no other possibilities.

And they never forgive…To them, “forgive” is a four letter word.

In the process, they’re perfectly willing to take an entire next generation with them, who all wonder: “What happened?” “Why the impasse?” “Why don’t we see Aunt Betty anymore?…We used to.”

Their get-togethers are often forced occasions of socializing, signaling major life events–weddings of that next generation, the infamous Irish wakes and funerals, etc.

In effect, they unleash a flamethrower on the entire family horizon, scorching the earth. They never just “Get over it,” and move on.

No one knows…no one can even remember events that precipitated, but they’re singularly united in one purpose:  to perpetuate the damage, the spill-out, the aftershocks of whatever event or series of same that brought on the problem.

I know—I’m Irish, and I know, too: It’s a sad formula for familial dysfunction, in future.

Got your own story of unforgiveness? Use fictional names (including one for yourself,) if you wish to share.  You only need give your e-mail address, and I’ll never post it or share…

About admin

A lifetime teacher and realtor who's now a published writer, Colleen Kelly Mellor is a humorist first, ever aware of the thread that connects us all. Her works have appeared in the WSJ, Providence Journal, and CNN and NY Times-acclaimed medical blog,, to name a few. All material on this blog is exclusive property of the author and cannot be reproduced without this author's express written consent.
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