How I Kept My Sanity During “Sandy” (Thank you, FB Friends)

(Now-infamous pic of a man on a back deck of a beachfront bar, in Matunuck, RI…They both miraculously survived.)

Know those essays “What I Did on My Summer Vacation”?…Well, that’s what prompted me to write the following (since I engaged with so many of you yesterday on Facebook).  And did I mention—“I LOVE all of you for it, for keeping me glued together while all Hell raged outside”? 

Here’s how I repay your favor:

 What I Did During Hurricane Sandy

Got up at 7:00 AM, Monday morning, aware that the height of the storm is predicted to begin at 8:00 AM.  Don’t want to be caught unawares.

Ate a light breakfast (the first of many occasions of eating.)  

Turned on the news—not a good idea, since it tracked the storm’s mounting brutality.  In similar fashion to my recent habitual watching of the gore-filled TV show, “666 Park Ave.,” I simply couldn’t avert my eyes from disaster.” I stayed hooked to the TV over the next many hours.

To divert myself, periodically, I sought refuge in Facebook, where I “talked” to many of you.

Began my longest marathon session of FB, ever, clocking in at 25 FB entries, a record for me.  Oh, I went all over, commenting and posting to others as if it were my last day on earth (because that’s what I truly believed.)

Got pissed off at FB friends in California or NC who carelessly posted about average day activities. If someone weren’t hanging from a precipice, I didn’t want to hear. I thought them massively insensitive. Even threatened to de-friend a few (at least, mentally.)

One posted about her head banging away from a headache, but as I said, if that head weren’t caught in vise-like grip from an upended tree (due to hurricane,) I didn’t want to hear (I’m sort of kidding, JW and Jeannine.) Those same friends cooked up a Hallowe’en Costume Contest later, as we all checked in to vote our preference (Honey Boo Boo wasn’t mine!)

Got some FB ads from highly-insensitive retailers like Target (didn’t they know what we on the East Coast were experiencing?)

After my Spartan, diet-like lunch, I caved and began to devour:  Sea Salt Kettle Chips—one entire bag (why do I crave salt in crises?); Reduced-Fat Cheez-Its (love them, too, when I’m stressed); half a Beef Stew with flaky pie crust (OK, crust flopped…I ate it anyway.) Also took a pic of that stew and posted it to FB.

Following that, I went out to garage where I retrieved hidden bags of Hallowe’en candy, then downed Snickers and Butterfingers.

Now, I realize: I consumed almost all our Emergency Stash of food that’s supposed to last us several days. Worse yet—I have no desire to stop. You see, with the monster raging outside, I fed the monster within.

Late afternoon…Saw shots of Jersey Shore engulfed in water, with boardwalk gone. Felt bad but gotta admit—I had secret wish “Jersey Shore” set washed out to sea, with it. (Oh, relax… I mean no harm to the so-called actors—Just want the trash off TV, so the next generation doesn’t mimic them, cuz after all, young people see them as ‘Success in America.’)

Saw Battery Park, NYC, submerged…So sorry. Places that survived 9/11 succumbed to a freak storm called “Sandy.”

6:00 PM…No lights on entire coastline of Rhode Island.

Unbelievably, at 6:30 PM, we STILL have power in our little pocket of this state (immortalized by pic I took and posted to FB of my little tree with lights “on.”)

How will all this impact me, immediately?  I guess I needn’t pick my way, in the dark, to my next Food Fix.

On a serious note, “Thank you,” all you who worked feverishly through this crisis to move downed limbs (we saw you working outside from windows that were, surprisingly, still intact;) “Thank you, Cox Cable” for keeping our TV and cable going, against impossible odds; “Thank you” FB friends for being there, helping me pass the time, while I literally quaked, inside;“Thank you, TV commentators” for risking life and limb to keep us updated (but please lose the drama of standing in foot-high water, CNN’s Ali Velchi.)

Finally, “Thank you,” Blind Luck for sparing us heavy assault when much of our little state got pummeled.

Now, I need to go….It’s 8:00 PM, and ice cream’s calling, because we’re still far from out of the woods. I’ll be clutching my pillow all night waiting for one of our seriously-weakened trees to finally capitulate—right through the roof of our bedroom.

My question:  Can a diet one’s maintained (for almost two weeks) be upended in one day/night of wild excess?   Just wondering… now that it looks like we’re going to make it.

P.S. I wonder how many others ate the candy stash….

About admin

A lifetime teacher and realtor who's now a published writer, Colleen Kelly Mellor is a humorist first, ever aware of the thread that connects us all. Her works have appeared in the WSJ, Providence Journal, and CNN and NY Times-acclaimed medical blog, kevinMD.com, to name a few. All material on this blog is exclusive property of the author and cannot be reproduced without this author's express written consent.
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