My parents (and many of their generation) occupied the same home, practically all their lives. When it came time for them to leave that household, we “kids” pooled our energy to clear what amounted to 50+ years of living. We kept many of the inherited items, but only for a while, since we had more than enough of our own household possessions.
All across America, countless storage facilities dot the landscape. In the regions where seniors relocate (North/South Carolina, Florida, Georgia), those vast corrugated metal holding zones are everywhere–gated communities in their own right.
Why are they so prevalent? Because older people, today, save furniture, household equipment, and personal artifacts, in the belief their adult “kids” will want them some day. And they’re paying big for that service. That’s why the storage business is booming.
But, here’s the reality. Generally speaking, that furniture will never fit the lifestyle or décor of the intended recipients and unless the items are true antiques, their value is negligible (and storage costs will quickly eclipse that value).
So, it might be better for parents to offer the stuff they no longer want to the “kids” well before any intended move. That way, whatever isn’t appropriated could go to the Salvation Army, Big Sisters, or consignment shops.
I know I’ve begun (over several years) to divest myself of stuff I collected over the years, and I’ve found it liberating. The house has a clean, uncluttered look, a blank palette, so to speak, on which I’ll write my remaining years. Why do I especially like that look? I’m not tripping over memories of what used to be.
It’s a good feeling, too, that whatever future moves we need effect won’t require an army to accomplish…maybe just a few foot soldiers.
My new motto as a senior (younger people might also consider subscribing) is “Divest and simplify.” I want to be able to pull up roots and move fast (even if I go nowhere). A wagonload—or 18-wheeler–of “stuff” will hamper me in those efforts.
I learned many years ago, when we made our last move, that most of the items we paid substantial money for–to be brought to the new house– were never used. They were stored in the attic, in the same boxes they arrived in. As a result, we paid all that money for nothing.
At the end of the day, who wants faded sheets and comforters in the new house…old pillows…records without an LP player (unless they’re mint condition classics, in their own pristine jackets)?
Young adults might consider “Divest and simplify,” too.
Before marriage and children, they tend to move often, as jobs mandate or roommate situations present. The fewer encumbrances to a move, the better. They might consider inflatable furniture (retailers already offer this for beds and chairs) which will enable fluidity of movement, saving them substantial capital outlay.
And then there’s the reality that young people haven’t identified their personal style yet, and don’t need to pay high cost for something they may devalue later. I remember liking the heavier Mediterranean-style furniture, as a young woman, and being happy, years later, that I hadn’t bought a household of it (didn’t have the money).
In the end, it may only be wise to accumulate things (sports equipment, household furnishings) when one begins raising a family and moves are no longer imminent. Wiser, still, are folks who recycle everything, for they never have a great deal to eliminate, thus saving themselves and the landfills.
So, Biddy recommends (from her own experience): “Divest and simplify”…..a motto that fits today’s transient population.
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It is easy to collect and save various items and somehow we think if we toss it, we may need it in the future and it is gone. I go through my drawers everywhere in the house and throw out/give to Goodwill TWO items. These “treasures” will be enjoyed by someone else or deposited if they are falling apart. You would be surprised by taking just 2 things out, you start the process and may give away five. You can do this every week until what is in the drawers are things you and your family really want or need. TRY IT!!!!
And it doesn’t hurt so much–doing it this way. It’s a subtle self-tricking, I might add. You’re right–I don’t even know what I’ve given away in past few years when I was majorly divesting myself of those possessions…I do know it is truly freeing. Now, too, I look at things I might have bought without a second thought years ago and ask myself, “Now, where am I going to wear that?” “Do I really need that?” I then find myself answering “No,” more times than not…It really helps in the saving mode as well…Thanks for the super suggestion…..
How Timely! I just divested myself of 6 huge bags/boxes of accumulated ‘stuff’ I hadn’t had a use for in years. Every change of seasons since my retirement 3 years ago has prompted more simplification and more letting go. It was hard at first, as all those things cost money that was hard earned. Now I feel that I am not smothered by so much stuff that I know what I have and can make better use of those items. It’s been a long process, with being the ‘dumping ground’ for parents, kids and extended family members for years, but that’s what happens when you ‘have the room’. Then I had no more room! And noone ever took back their stuff!
Every donation I make now(to the Big Sister) leaves me feeling lighter, more organized and efficient. It took 25 years to fill up this house…and three years to finally see the light!
And how lovely that donations are all deductible on our tax returns…simply ask for the paper that attests to the fact you contributed, assess your donation’s value, and claim. I love it!!
My mother has a bag with each of our names on it…so each time we “dump” stuff their or leave it there…..she MAKES sure on the next trip….it goes home with us. I know your talking about the BIG stuff. Like Ma: Can I leave my waterbed frame here until I’m comfortable in my new apartment…Yes son, and 2 years later…its still in my garage.
In my experience…Older people hoard stuff because they can’t let it go. I felt like I was breaking my Grandmothers arm…every time I did a spring cleaning and wanted to throw out a simple worn Tupperware item. I also believe that the “Depression” that my father speaks about traumatized many of the older generation and they are afraid to let go of anything that they think has ANY value. I on the other hand (46) impulsively throw things away (which may be a personal problem) and then most of the time I AM sorry. For example: I loved my couch and love seat, my mother was getting rid of hers and I thought hers was better because it “reclined”. The set I owned at the time was 2 years old and did not recline. I immediately asked my boyfriend at the time to DROP everything and go get her set, before she put it out on the curb. I immediately put my set out to the curb (and it was taken quickly). Then I found hers not to be as comfortable and I missed my set. And then to make matters MUCH worse I later saw a picture of my oldest son sitting on the set I had taken from my mother and I would guess the age of my son in that picture to be 4. At the time I took the “reclining” set from her my son was 21! I still have the stupid couch set and I don’t even sit in there now. If I could stop bailing my 2 sons out of trouble…I might be able to afford a new set…and this one…would go to the curb!
Clutter…I’m all for having none…I rented a dumpster 2 years ago and didn’t think twice about stuff I threw away. Then my b/f moved in and all the space I emptied…is now filled with his stuff….LOL
Yes, it’s odd how the boyfriends/husbands sabotage a plan for a drastic clean-out. I have women friends who continually tell me their husbands are all too ready to downsize and get rid of all of those things that belong to the women, while they find any reason to hang onto theirs….
The Battle of the Sexes goes on even here.