All the Hullabaloo About “Shweddy Balls”

Ah, come on, Ben & Jerry’s, did you have to reduce my passion for ice cream to the jocular realm? (One of my former students actually thought “jocular” referred to “having to do with jocks”!) Yes, every so often B&J plays with us, their customers, in irreverent fashion. This is one of those times.

In any case, Ben & Jerry’s  is causing a ruckus.  People are annoyed at their metaphorical alignment of the dairy delight with a less-than-appetizing mental image (aka Schweddy Balls).  Click on that link to revisit Alec Baldwin’s  hysterical “Saturday Night Live” skit.

So, being the ever-intent-on-tracking-something-down-that’s-new, I got Husband in tow and made a visit to a local Ben & Jerry’s where I asked for a taste. I clocked our reaction, as it hit the many levels of our flavor monitors (you know, the good stuff keeps speaking waaayy after the first taste).

Our expert analysis?…It’s like vanilla armed with malted milk balls (hence the “schweddy balls” name. ) Does it bring to mind athletic endeavors?  Absolutely not. The only effort one extends is “incisor action” in crunching the fairly large chocolate mini-boulders sprinkled throughout. But they’re nothing like the REAL malted wonders.

So, good enough?  Sure.  Great?  Not particularly. Important enough to spark “outrage” in America?…I’m not sure.  You be the judge.  Link below courtesy of which documents “Schweddy Balls’ ” ignoble birth as a pop culture name.

Read about the public outrage by going to Radaronline  (for the full story) and remember:  Schweddy Balls has a brief shelf life (seasonal delight?), so “Hurry” if you want to taste what all the drama is about.

And here’s another account of that same group’s fury that drove them to boycott Ben & Jerry’s, also warning them not to be ‘distasteful’ in their ice cream names, in future.

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A lifetime teacher and realtor who's now a published writer, Colleen Kelly Mellor is a humorist first, ever aware of the thread that connects us all. Her works have appeared in the WSJ, Providence Journal, and CNN and NY Times-acclaimed medical blog,, to name a few. All material on this blog is exclusive property of the author and cannot be reproduced without this author's express written consent.
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